Insecurity can creep in at any point. Often when you least expect it. You can go along in your day and then just like that a random thought that pings at your insecurities steps in. There is no need to shame yourself for such feelings as they are normal and felt by most everyone, whether they express it vocally or not. You are not alone in your feelings and your feelings are valid.
The following tips will help you navigate through some of the most common insecurities we face every day. These tips will help you feel seen and heard and not alone. They will help you understand the meaning behind such insecurities and how to heal through them.
Insecurity with relationships
Whether you are in a relationship or you are single you may feel insecurities creep in from time to time. Assessing those insecurities can shine a light on where you need more love. Love that comes from within. Nurturing, healing, unconditional love.
If you are single, sometimes you can feel an insecurity of not being in a relationship or not settled down like the rest of your friends seem to be. Understand that there are many benefits and freedoms to being single that you cannot enjoy while being in a relationship. Use this time to get to know yourself deeper, healing any past trauma, discovering new likes and interests, picking up a new hobby, and traveling. This is a beautiful time of deep self discovery that you will be thankful to have experienced once you do find your special someone.
If you are in a relationship and you have insecurity that creeps in, assess where it is coming from first. If it’s from a core wound that is being triggered, that is something you can work through and have a conversation with your partner about if you feel comfortable. If it is something that is directly being caused by your partner, then it is definitely something you need to have a conversation about with your partner to help clear things up.
You may feel an insecurity about your partner and comparing yourself to their past ex’s or thinking about how many partners they have been with compared to yourself. Please know you are not alone or crazy for feeling this. In those moments of insecurity remind yourself that your partner chose you and wants to be with you and only you. They left their past relationships for a reason, just as you did. If you need extra reassurance you can communicate with your partner these insecurities that you’ve been feeling and I can guarantee that they will make you feel at peace.
Also, comparing yourself to how many partners your boo has been with compared to you is not healthy I’m sure you know, but a natural insecurity just the same. With this insecurity, just know that whomever they were with in their past was not fulfilling or deep the same way it is with you. If it was they would still be with them.
Both your partner and you had to go through lessons and life experience to be the partner they are today with you. If they had not gone through such experiences, they may not have been the perfect fit for you. Again, please remember that they chose you and choose you everyday.
Lastly, in regards to insecurities you may feel in relationships, the most healing thing one can do is to nurture yourself in all the ways you can with self love and self acceptance. Often the core of our insecurities comes from a lack of self love and self worth. Going to that core wound and finding all the ways to infuse more love to yourself will nourish and feed your soul. When you feel more deeply loved and accepted from within, insecurities will simply brush off like water off a duck’s back.
Insecurity in your creations
If you’re a creative or just have passion projects you like to work on, there may be times when you find yourself comparing yourself to others and how far along they are in their journey. You may see how far ahead they are, without realizing that they are on a completely different path and that they perhaps may be further along because they’ve been working on it longer.
I once heard the quote that “comparison is the thief of joy”, and it is. We often only see the very surface of someone else’s journey. We don’t know everything they’ve had to overcome to get to where they are today. We see them at the finish line, but never see all the preparation, trials and tribulation that they had to go through to get to the level they are at today. If you do compare yourself to anyone, let it be to your past self to look back and see how far you’ve come.
Insecurities in our creativity can also creep in through perfectionism. If you suffer from perfectionism, use it to help push you to make better art, but never let it hinder you from procrastinating or never completing a project because in your eyes, it’s never good enough. An “imperfect” completed project is always better than a perfectly incomplete one.
The beautiful thing to remember with getting better at completing projects is you will naturally get better at them and those perceived flaws will eventually disappear. Another thing to remember is there is beauty in imperfection. If things are done too perfectly it sometimes can lose its authenticity. And what people connect to the most through your art, is your authenticity, not perfectionism.
Insecurity in your body
Feeling insecurity in your body is a very natural and common thing. With this insecurity please know that everyone has their own struggles they battle, even if it doesn’t appear so on the surface. If they have a certain body type you desire to achieve, also know that they most likely have been on their fitness or health journey longer than you. It’s healthy to have goals and to strive to be healthier, but not at the expense of your mental health and continually comparing yourself to others along the way.
Instead of looking at your body in the mirror and picking apart every perceived flaw, give yourself compliments. Look for all the reasons you love your body, instead of all the reasons why you don’t. Express gratitude for all the ways your body gives back to you and helps you do all the things you love to do.
Viewing your body as a beautiful vessel and temple will help you appreciate it so much more. Speak loving words to yourself as you massage lotion or oil into your skin after a shower or bath. Nourish your body with good foods, expressing gratitude for how fueling your body in such a way helps you not only feel your best but be the best version of yourself.
Final thoughts
Insecurities are a natural feeling that can occur from time to time. Learning how to respond to those insecurities will help you navigate through them easier and help diminish them over time. Whether it be through insecurities felt in your relationship, or lack thereof; in your creativity, or in your body image, it is normal to feel those things so please do not shame yourself for thinking that way.
All or most insecurities come from a lack of self love and self worth, so starting there will be the most healing. Learning to love yourself more deeply and unconditionally will help you feel more confident in yourself, and trust that your journey is your own and there is no need to compare. You are brilliant beyond measure.
And lastly I will leave you with this quote that was so beautifully stated from Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
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