Anxiety can be such an overwhelming emotion. It can feel overwhelming as your thoughts keep spinning out of control. You mull over the same thoughts over and over again trying to control the outcome. Thinking if you worry about them enough that something will change. However the only thing that changes is added stress to your life and your body. Worrying about things that have not yet come will not add to your life, but take away.
I know it feels overwhelming to not be able to control all the anxieties and worries in your mind. The thoughts that encircle your mind over and over till you feel you are drowning in them. Your heart begins to race as you think of all the possible worst case scenarios. None of these thoughts of course are true, you just conceive them because that’s where your mind goes when it’s desperately grasping for straws of some conceivable outcome.
You think if you can plan for the worst then everything will be ok. But diving head first into worst case scenarios will only add to your anxiety and stress to a situation. Learning to calm and center your mind will be a far more powerful tactic to giving you lasting peace and long term clarity.
The following 7 essential tools below will help you get through these bouts of anxiety and worry. These tools will help you navigate through the storms that life brings and help you find a centered calmness and peace from within.
Journal
When your thoughts and worries become all too consuming, try emptying them onto the blank pages of your journal. Often the anxieties we feel when worrying about thoughts in a loop seem to spin out of control because they stay stuck in our minds.
Writing everything down gets these thoughts out of your head. The thoughts often don’t feel as scary when they are written out on a page. You are also able to see more clearly the actions you need to take when you see your thoughts in plain sight, rather than spinning in your head.
This can be a morning practice or anytime during the day when your anxieties are taking over your thoughts. Take your journal and empty everything that is spinning in your mind. You will feel at ease as soon as you do. Sometimes just the act of emptying it all out will be enough to calm your mind, but other times it will be a more tangible way of looking at your thoughts instead of letting them just spin out of control in your mind.
Ground yourself in the present
Just as depression is the emotion focusing too much on the past, anxiety is the emotion focusing too much on the future. Thus you need to learn to ground yourself in the present. Grounding yourself in the present is a powerful practice that will help calm your anxieties and worries. Instead of letting your mind wander to things that have not come or worry away towards things out of your control, you can rest your mind towards just letting yourself be in the moment.
What a beautiful way to surrender. Sometimes anxiety can come from holding on too tightly to the things that we cannot control. Releasing your grip will allow you to relax into what is and just let be. Worrying away at the things that have not come will not change the outcome of the future, it will only add stress to your body. I know it may be hard to release that control at first as you have attached your sense of control with safety. But please know that you are safe at this moment. You are safe and you are loved.
How do you ground yourself in the present? Start by focusing your attention on just one small thing, like how beautiful the sun glistens through the trees, or the sound of the rain, or the smell of something baking in the oven. Focusing on something in the present moment will help ground you to that moment. You can also try rubbing your thumb and first or second fingers together. The sensation will immediately attune to how your body is feeling in the moment and ground you to the present.
Grounding yourself in the present can be challenging with all the distractions around us in addition to your own thoughts. Focusing on just one small thing to ground yourself can give you the strength to combat against those distractions and worries that desire to take up all the space in your mind.
Release what you cannot control
Anxieties and worries are often based on the desire to grasp at the straws of the future. The desire to find some sort of control in what we cannot see and what has not yet come to fruition yet. The unfortunate thing in trying to gain control in what has not yet come is you waste such precious energy in the things you cannot control.
Instead of trying to grasp at things you cannot control, take a deep breath and release your grip. I know it can feel scary at first, but you have far more power over the things in the present that you can control than the things in the future that you cannot. Whatever is out of your control just let it be. Control what you can, and anything else outside of that release.
Your heart and your mind will feel so much more at ease. Holding on tightly to things you cannot control will only increase the strain on your heart and add to your worries. Releasing the grip on what you cannot control will give your mind peace and help you focus on the things that you can control.
Breathe
When you suffer from anxiety often you can forget some of the most basic things, like slowing down to just breathe. You can get so caught up in your mind spinning from one thought to the next that these thoughts become overwhelming and all-consuming. Slowing down to breathe will help calm your nervous system and also help ground you to the present.
Start by placing your hands over your heart and take three deep breaths in and out. Focusing more on the exhale than the inhale. Do three more, making your exhales twice as long as your inhales. You can count to four as you breathe in, and count to eight as you breathe out.
Slowing down your breath will help your mind stop racing and your worries still. The things that seemed so frantic in the moment will seem less so. The things that seemed so overwhelming or out of control will be reduced. Learning to control your breath and practicing breathwork is a powerful tool to help calm your mind and center your thoughts.
Heart meditation
A heart meditation simply involves placing your hands on your heart during a slowed breathing activity or meditation practice. As you do this speak to yourself with phrases such as:
“I am safe”
“I am ok”
“I am loved”
Breathe deep in and out and say this mantra over and over as you press your hands against your heart. Breathe in and out and do this again and again until you feel the release.
“I am safe”
“I am ok”
“I am loved”
You will feel the release the more often you do this. This is self compassion. This is self love.
Give and receive hugs often
Hugs are a beautiful way to release oxytocin, the feel-good endorphin that’s released when you hold on close to someone you love. So give and receive hugs often, especially when you’re feeling anxieties overwhelm you. You are not alone in your feelings. You are not alone.
You will feel the benefit from a hug whether you are the giver or receiver as hugs are a mutual way to show and receive to someone that you care for them and that they are loved. Oxytocin is released within just 20 seconds of hugging someone. So anytime you are feeling that stress or anxiety creep up just find someone you love to hug. The anxieties and worries will soon melt away and you will feel a calmness blanket you.
Ask for help
Anxieties and stress can often come through having too much on your plate to handle. By reaching out and asking for help you will feel less burdened by everything and things will feel less overwhelming.
You may feel that you do not want to burden others with the things going on in your life, but that is what your loved ones are there for. You do the same for them in a heartbeat, so let others be there for you too. It can be a hard lesson to learn to receive and to ask for help when you need it.
You have to learn that you are only one person and you cannot always do everything on your own. It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to delegate when you need to or can. You are not a burden. You are worthy of receiving care and attention. You are worthy of receiving help when you need it. Repeat this as often as you need.
If you suffer from anxiety and suffer from being able to receive, please know that you are not alone, and you do not need to be alone in your suffering. You are surrounded by so many people here to help you and remind you of your worth and that you are loved. The things that you carry are not meant to carry alone, so please remember to ask for help.
Final Thoughts
Whether you suffer from anxiety or not, we all suffer from random worries from time to time. Learning how to calm your mind and center your thoughts can help things not feel so overwhelming and to also find clarity.
Practices like journaling, breathing exercises, and heart meditation are all daily practices that can help release thoughts and worries that may be cycling out of control. Learning to ground yourself in the present, asking for help and releasing your need to control will be hard at first, but overtime you will begin to feel the release and the things you were worried about diminish.
Learning to work through anxiety is not something that happens overnight, but overtime as these practices become habits you will feel the waves of anxiety not come on as strong and the periods between be more lasting.
Whatever brings you peace, do more of that. Expand the moments that ground you to the present and calm your mind. Release the things you cannot control, and remember it’s ok to let yourself be.
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