Dreams and living your dream life does not just happen by chance or by wishing it away without any action behind those wishes. Living your best life, the one you dream about, happens through consistent small actionable steps. It’s the little things that add up to the big things in life, not the other way around.
Whatever habits you learn and follow everyday are the ones that will eventually shape and change your life. If your habits are hindering or deterring you from the life you want to be living, then it is time to examine those areas.
Those little things you may be doing may seem insignificant at the moment, but I promise you they do add up overtime and lead to a greater impact than you realize. Every little seemingly insignificant habit will eventually shape the direction of your life. Examining which habits you need to let go of, and which habits to keep, will determine whether you get closer to or further away from your dreams.
Below are the 7 most common bad habits that may be holding you back from creating and living the life you dream.
People pleasing
The origins of people-pleasing is often a trauma response from your childhood or past, so do not feel bad if you do this. Know that you are loved just for being you and that you do not need to do things outside yourself to be loved. You also do not need to do things just for the sake of maintaining the peace. This will only take away from your own inner peace.
People pleasing is a habit that holds you back because your energy is spent on prioritizing everyone else’s needs and neglecting your own. People pleasing teaches you to not stand up for yourself and to let people take advantage of you.
It does not make you a kinder person for putting everyone else first or denying your wants and needs. What will make you a kinder person is actually putting yourself first and taking care of you before you do for others. This is not a selfish act. It is a necessary act. Putting yourself first, or standing up for yourself when things don’t feel right helps you set the standard of how you want to be treated. It also helps you build respect and confidence in yourself and helps others respect you more too.
Overthinking
Overthinking can often be a trait of underlying anxiety, but whatever the cause, overthinking about anything prevents you from actually taking action. Ruminating over thoughts that may not even manifest is a waste of your precious energy and time.
Instead of spending your time thinking of all the worst case scenarios and what if’s, instead change your thinking to, “but what if it does all work out”. Truly, what if it all works out! What if all your deepest desires and dreams actually do happen. And not just the way you envision them, but even better than planned.
That is the beautiful thing about going down the path of your dreams is things often go much better than you planned. When your dreams do finally become a reality they are more magnificent than you ever expected. You will look back and think how you spent so much of your time wasting on negative thoughts and what-if scenarios that never came true.
So let go of the fear for a moment. Release the need to control every aspect of how something is going to turn out. Surrender to the process, stay consistent in your actions, and watch the beauty of your dreams unfold.
Avoiding risks
Being afraid to take risks is similar to getting caught up in the spiral of overthinking. It’s holding onto a fear mentality of what if something bad happens, or worse, what if I fail? What you have to accept is that failure is part of the process. You also have not truly failed until you fully give up.
If you stay consistent in your actions and keep going no matter what then any perceived failures are just hiccups in the road. Taking risks is what will set you free. Staying “safe” will only keep you in a box.
To paint a picture for you, avoiding risks is like being born with wings, but never having the courage to use them. You can be so wrapped up in worry and fear that it won’t work out or that you’ll fail, that you miss the beauty in what life could be.
“What if I fail? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” — Erin Hanson
Lack of focus
Having a lack of focus can be detrimental to your goals and dreams. It allows thoughts and unnecessary activities to distract you and pull you away from what will really help you make progress. Having a lack of focus is having a lack of direction. If you are not clear on your direction from where you want your life to be headed, then anything can overtake your vision.
If you do not have a clear vision yet, you can start by writing down your dreams and goals. Write them down with no limits in your mind. Dream with the lid off. Then write down what actionable steps you need to take in order to make those dreams a reality.
Lacking focus will only welcome unnecessary distraction and pull you off track to where you desire to be. You already have enough distractions in this world to battle with day to day, do not let your own lack of focus and direction be one of them.
Dopamine addiction
Dopamine addiction pulls your attention to what is truly important and what truly matters in your life. It drains your energy and creates an unhealthy need to constantly fill any void of boredom.
Dopamine addiction can be created by filling any void and need to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Breaking this addiction cycle can be hard at first, but learning to create more control over your energy and how you use it can be a powerful thing.
It’s ok to do things that make you feel good, that’s called self care. But turning to things that overtime only drain your energy and mental wellbeing is self-destruction. It’s important to learn the difference. Analyze in your own life what things you may be spending too much time doing that are not adding to your life. Consider pulling back on these activities more and more and instead carving out time for the things that do uplift your energy.
Put your energy instead into activities that will set you on the right path to where you want your life to be. I promise you will be so grateful when you look back on your life years from now and be thankful for being more intentional with your choices and your time. The energy you give to things will either give back to you or drain you, so choose wisely.
Poor health
Not taking care of your health properly can affect every aspect of your life. If you spend time eating too many unhealthy foods or staying up too late, then your mental energy and clarity will be affected the next day. If you drink too much caffeine then you can become overstimulated and feel anxious. If you consume too much alcohol the night before then the following day will be spent just recovering instead of being productive. If you neglect physical activity then your body will start to feel more weak and depleted.
Investing in your health will benefit every aspect of your life for many years to come. That’s why it’s so vital to take small daily actions towards healthy living as it does not just affect your body, but your mental capacity and how you enjoy and live your life.
Incorporating more vibrant foods to your plate will fuel the energy you need to tackle your day. Going to bed early and getting enough rest will help your mental clarity (and mood) even more than caffeine. Getting enough sunshine and vitamin D, getting exercise and spending time outside will help your mental health. Taking care of your body and prioritizing your health will give you the energy, vitality and mental clarity you need to chase and live the life you dream.
Lack of application
It is one thing to have a vision. It is one thing to have goals and dreams and to even write them down, however they will never come to fruition if you don’t take the actionable steps needed.
Making actionable steps and taking action on those steps are what will really start to move the needle. Manifestation of your dreams does not just come from thinking and wishing them in your mind. Manifesting your dreams comes from taking the steps needed to make those dreams happen.
The journey can be long and lonely at times, but do not let that deter you. I promise the destination will be more than worth it. And when you look back you will see that the true fulfillment was in the journey and that there is no true destination.
Learn to enjoy each stage of the process. Learn to surrender to the outcome, but never give up. You have what it takes. Do not let your mind fill you with doubts. Take the daily small actions of what needs to be done to move forward towards your dreams, and let the rest fall into place. Keep your head down and your chin up, you will get there before you know it.
Final Thoughts
Dreams do not just happen by wishing, hoping and praying them into light. Dreams happen with purpose and intention. Learning the ways in which your habits have an effect on the life you want to lead will transform you.
Learning the ways in which bad habits are cultivated and taking the steps to replace them with good habits will help guide you to the life you dream.
Learn to prioritize your needs, learn to calm your mind and not overthink things, learn to take risks and focus on your goals and dreams. Do not let yourself get sucked into unhealthy addictions, and learn to take care of your body and mind in healthy ways. Lastly, remember to take the actionable steps needed to live the life you dream.
You have choices given to you everyday and you have free will in how you choose to live your life. Your life truly is what you make it, so make the choices that will give you the happiness, vitality and freedom you truly crave.
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